Strangest dream crept up my pillow the other evening
Or should I call it morning?
On a bridge made of plastic and filled with air I ran with the others
We hid, and ran- for what was out there was much too frightening to look at.

My dear brother couldn’t stand to run from these Demons any longer,
He slit his neck with a box cutter right in front of my eyes-
Giving me a glance of hopelessness he performed this task effortlessly and without fear.

As the screams rose and darkness encompassed the bridge I took the knife
And sliced so delicately that bridge..
Releasing the air holding us above the rough waters
And collapsing our only safe-haven.

Salt water, assumingly, rose above our toes and legs
Giving and taking life at the same time
Unbiased was Death – I welcomed him.
__________

What does it mean to dream of destroying your own bridge instead of building it??

What does it mean to challenge Death, and welcome it? Am I confronting the Fear or giving up in this dream/nightmare?…

Furthermore, the suicide of my brother rattled me.  My mind concocted such a terrible vision – this dream has not left my memory, nor do I think it will..

Slide on down the pipes

He’s feeling insecure, unsure
But he knows and tries not to show
The shaking
As he slides on by her
Time stopped- Slow motion
It’s just she and him in an ocean
Of frozen objects

Material things of atoms and energy fall apart
When time frozen every vibration stopped
And the atoms dropped

Leaving just she and him
Floating into a million peices

Sitting upright so we don’t fall down
We all talk but it’s all just sound

A cut, a slice,
take a piece of my life
But leave me a memory

I’m taking the hole and filling it with songs
It’s all so much easier if it’s sung
With a sweet sound
And a gruff laugh so loud

Each comment is with love
From the wrong side of reality.

Everyone is eager to throw stones
But I guess someone has to be there to catch them

While the Earth rattles I feel the thump thump of my insides
Not my heart but the flow of blood molecules jumping
Always so happy to be pumping

I want the energy to be what it is that makes me proud
Give and exchange wisdoms for all to share

Without selfish motivations in the air.

So, when exactly does a smoker become a non-smoker? What’s the time frame I’m working with here? Or is it like a drug addict, once a smoker always a smoker.

Or a recovering smoker?

Ex-smoker?

In regards to nicotine, I will free myself. But man, I love cigarettes. I don’t think we had a proper good-bye…