Right about now the real world is full of droids turning off their lamps and blowing out their candles.  Do they know they are all Mutants?  We all once walked without shoes or clothes.  Life was appreciated for what it was, and days were not spent in a building shuffling slices of processed trees are a small room.  Life was laughter in a wheat field or tears in the midst of a storm.  Life beat you down when you needed the lesson.  Now there is no lesson and they are all losing their sight.  If it’s too late then I will meet you where the Real People wander…   I will be there to survive.

I’m tired of the frosting and sugary substitutes.  I’m damn sick of the gravy that man so desires to drown his everyday meal in.  It’s a thick coating to cover what’s real, to shield what may be really true.  I’m finished with applique’s and molds.. 

I’m ready for the Real People to shine.  We will make it, but we will make it alone.

I wonder how long it will take people to figure out that they cannot continue to live as they do.

I’m ashamed to be a Human Being this New Year’s Eve.

It’s stupid we celebrate this same date anyhow… We do it on our Birthday, “Jesus’s” Birthday (whatever) and all other sorts of stupid yearly parties.

I am taking advantage of the fresh start, however.

Last year I lost almost forty pounds, I will use this year to get stronger.

Two years ago, I got off the drugs, this year I will quit smoking.

Last year I went vegetarian, this year I will try to stop consuming any and all dairy products as well.

And, I will MAKE TIME for it.  That’s the kicker with a special diet or lifestyle, I’ve noticed. You must put effort in and make time.

And I will continue with my current sexual program.  It seems to be working out, lonesome, but it keeps me focused on what I need to do right now.

Happy New Year.

Wow.

As a teenager, I had the black hair and big boys clothes.  Depression, I hate life stage. Lot’s of suicidal poetry. Very pre-emo.

I did the blond thing with tight little capris.. Very California beach look.

I went red-headed for awhile- kinda hip slash funky… Sorta Lindsey Lohan before she got on crack…

All of my little phases were attributed to friends that I knew. That had influenced my views on the world. And of course, by my personal sexual evolution.  And my own knowledge of self-worth, of course.

Here I sit, brown hair (no dye), light blue sweatpants and a tie-de pajama shirt… Next to a vegan burrito… And I get a phone call from Chicago. 

Tonight, I find out that the most hippie chick I have ever met eats meat again…  And her dreads are gone and she’s wanting to go “clubbing.”

Betrayed.  She told a friend she needs to eat meat to live.

Devouring animals for the sake of living? Hmmm.. If I were stranded in the desert with nothing but a canteen, okay, I’d eat a snake or bugs to survive. Fucking just like Bear Grylls, I’d sleep on a dead camel’s neck.

But in the midst of society where so many options of wild, fresh, wonderful foods are at my fingertips, I cannot feed upon domesticated livestock.

And the most hippie chick I ever knew now eats meat again. Not like, freegan either. She just eats it. 

**Deep breathes.

You may now think I’m crazy.

I’m devastated. You may think I’m overreacting. Who cares what others do, right? To each their own?

But, if the person you always thought and knew to stick to their convictions suddenly STOPPED for the sake of being too lazy to be different, wouldn’t you feel a bit betrayed?

It’s like having a town leader promise and abide to no taxes, and then one day say, “Well, it’s good for the community. We need a small tax.”

I’m upset.

Fuck that. I’m disappointed.  I pity her for forgetting what’s really important.

I hope the cow she’s eating tonight gives her the shits.